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Gifts for the Excel Guru

 

This hilarious line of products is perfect for the hard-core Exceller in your life. Even if you scratch your head wondering what these slogans mean, I guarantee that your favorite EXCEL GURU will laugh and proudly wear the shirt or mug. By definition, you must be an EXCEL GURU if you understand these sayings!

Each saying is available in either a coffee mug or a white t-shirt. The mugs are emblazoned with EXCEL GURU on the front and the saying on the back. The t-shirts scream EXCEL GURU with the saying on the front and a MrExcel logo on the back.

 
 

View all 12 sayings below.
 

 
Why be Average when you can EXCEL?

Available as a shirt or Mug.
 

 
Warning! I may Pivot Table your Data!

Let your co-workers know that their data might be made into a Pivot Table before their very eyes. Available as a shirt or Mug.
 

 
Great idea, but it doesn't fit in 256 columns

Yes, there are 16.8 million cells on a worksheet, but if you need more than 256 columns, you are sunk. Available as a shirt or Mug.
 

 
Let me whip up a little macro to do that!

Difficult situations in Excel can be a breeze with a couple lines of code. Let your co-workers know that their data might be made into a Pivot Table before their very eyes. Available as a shirt or Mug or Apron.
 

 
Just back away from the keyboard

This certainly is heard after your column of 4,925 formulas switched to the #REF! error. Available as a shirt or Mug.
 

 
Isn't it obvious? Use the =Trim(Mid(A2,Find(" ",A2),25)) and then do a Paste-Special values. Duh!

Sometimes it really is embarrassing how a really simple request (extract the last name from this list of names) can require a mind-numbing formula. Sometimes, it is just really embarrassing that we know this stuff off the top of our heads. Available as a shirt or Mug.
 

 
Go install the analysis toolpack!

The analysis toolpack is that cool little add-in with 100+ new functions for Excel. You know that your favorite Excel Guru has it installed and his or her worksheets won't work on your computer until you install the toolpack. Available as a shirt or Mug.
 

 
All you gotta do is import the mainframe data with Text-to-Columns and then whip out a few pivot tables...

This is in honor of Val from Australia. After spending $16 Million on an O**cle system, she found the universal truth of all multi-million-dollar software installations - you no longer have the ability to run the reports you need to run your business. Val saved the day with a $95 copy of Microsoft Excel, the Text-to-Columns feature and a few Pivot Tables. This mug is for everyone who finds themselves running the important reports in Excel because the real system can't produce them. Available as a shirt or Mug.
 

 
I've got VLOOKUPs and I know how to use them!

The Vlookup function is truly the measure of Excel Guru-dom. I once had to hire a data analyst and my only requirement was that he or she knew Excel well enough to do VLOOKUPs. If you can master VLOOKUP's, the rest is easy. Available as a shirt or Mug.
 

 
Let me do an Advanced Filter on your Data!

The Data > Filter > Advanced Filter is another one of those functions which is too complex for the average Excel user. However, it is a great way to "do Access in Excel" or to simply get a list of the unique customer numbers in a list. If you regularly do Advanced Filters, then you are an Excel Guru. I've found myself doing Range().AdvancedFilter a LOT in Excel VBA - very fast & efficient. Available as a shirt or Mug.
 

 
Let me write a custom VBA function to do that!

You have to admit, in just a couple lines of code, a little VBA user defined function can do wonders. I had to crank one out just the other day for a client - 5 lines of code, but oh how useful! Available as a shirt or Mug.
 

 
=IF(ISNA(Match($A2,$X$1:$X$500,False)),"Zone "&A2,VLookup($A2,$X$1:$Z$500,3,False))

There it is. The perfect formula in every way. Just the right combination of absolute and mixed references, you can easily copy this baby from B2 to C2 and change only the 3 to a 2 to get Regions instead of zones. It checks for missing zones and puts a nice generic value in there instead of the ugly #N/A! error. I don't know about you, but I've entered about 10,000 of these in my career. Available as a shirt or Mug.
 

 
HOLY MACRO!

Hmmm. I promised that almost any Excel Guru could have uttered any of these phrases. This particular mug is only appropriate for Excel gurus who are in the U.S. and came home from school in the 1970's to watch Batman reruns on TV. If the boy wonder were a VBA programmer and the Batman TV show were being produced today, I guarantee that "Holy Macro! Batman" would be heard two nights a week at the same bat-time and the same bat-channel. This little phrase was tossed out by John Sancin at Marketal and I loved it. In fact, when I started a publishing company, I called it Holy Macro! Books. So, if you need a gift for a 30-40ish Excel VBA guru/batman fan from the U.S., this is it! (Would someone please tell my wife that this is what I want for Father's Day? Available as a shirt or Mug.
 

 
When Joe from accounting met Carol the VBA programmer, it wasn't long before they engaged in Holy Macro-mony

Just when I thought that John Sancin had no better puns than Holy Macro, he fired off the Holy Macromony line. This mug is a modern day romance between an EXCEL GURU and a VBA programmer. Sounds like a perfect combination to me! Available as a shirt or Mug.
 

 
Memorizes Date & Time Functions in spare time

Real EXCEL GURUs don't kill time playing FreeCell. You'll find them off memorizing new functions. Available as a shirt or Mug.
 

  Also...be sure to check out the absolutely hilarious Excel Function Wall Clock.

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